“Sex Talks is a terrific book. Finally, here’s a book that recognizes that most sex issues are a result of the lack of communication. The book beautifully guides the essential conversation we all need to have about sex. Furthermore, it helps us overcome the myths that drag down on us. It is also based on the latest research. Buy this book! Have these essential conversations!”
—John Gottman, New York Times bestselling author of
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
“This book redefines what it means to have great sex. With her signature frankness and relatability, Vanessa Marin reveals the secrets to a fulfilling love life. You’ll never think about intimacy and desire the same way again.”
—Logan Ury, author of How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love
It’s no secret that we lack accurate representations of sex in our daily lives. From movies to TV shows and more, sex on screen unfolds spontaneously and effortlessly, zero communication required. Characters rarely, if ever, talk about what they are doing in a meaningful way. To make matters worse, our country’s lack of adequate sex education fuels the perception that sex is taboo and shouldn’t be talked about. It’s no wonder that when couples start to feel unfulfilled in their sex lives, the culprit often lies not in a loss of spark, but in a lack of communication. Because how can you expect to have the sex life of your wildest dreams if you can’t even openly discuss it with your partner?
Written by sex therapist Vanessa Marin with her “regular dude” husband Xander Marin, hosts of the popular “Pillow Talks” podcast, SEX TALKS: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life (S&S/Simon Element; February 7, 2023) is here to change that. They are plenty of books about sex, but this is one of the only books that shows you how to actually talk about it. Sex Talks gives you the crucial information you were never taught and presents a deep dive into some of the most complex and harmful dynamics that plague modern-day couples.
Broken up into easily digestible chapters, Sex Talks opens with a section on how to get to know yourself better, before diving into the five essential questions that every couple needs to have:
1. Acknowledgement: a.k.a. “Sex is a thing, and we have it.”
2. Connection: a.k.a. “What do we need to feel connected to each other?”
3. Desire: a.k.a. “What do we each need to get turned on?”
4. Pleasure: a.k.a. “What do we each need to feel good?”
5. Exploration: a.k.a. “What should we try next?”
With gripping storytelling and an intimate peek at what really goes on behind other couples’ closed bedroom doors, Vanessa and Xander share the candid advice that has earned them 295K Instagram followers and thousands of views on YouTube. An informative, straightforward guide to staying connected and feeling your best, SEX TALKS provides the sex education you wish you’d had, plus tried-and-tested communication tools and relationship quizzes. Timed to Valentine’s Day, SEX TALKS is perfect for an expert feature, a Q&A about your most pressing sex questions, or a relationship book roundup.
About the Authors
Vanessa Marin is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy. She has bachelor’s degrees in human sexuality and sociology from Brown University and a master’s degree in counseling psychology. She has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker, and has been featured many times in major publications like Oprah Daily, Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, and Real Simple.
Xander Marin is a regular dude who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk about sex with his wife all day. He’s here to show you that you don’t need a graduate degree or a license to have extraordinary communication skills—you just need to have an open mind and willingness!